WOW! What a difference 10 weeks makes. It has been 10 weeks since we went into "the book." May 1st....that book where we slaved away for weeks with a designer to make sure we were properly representing ourselves as fun, loving, caring, and prospective parents while trying to utilize the typical "Harvey humor." It is definitely a whirlwhind, so where should I start?
After we went into the "book" in May, we looked forward to the day when we got "the call." Though, through the years of infertility and the management of our expectations that this could take 12-18 months, we prepared ourselves that we would have a minimum of 6 months before we even got invited to the first match meeting. For those of you new to the adoption lingo, a match meeting is when a birth mother (in the open adoption process) selects you out of the book of profiles of waiting families and wants to meet with you to determine if you may be a good fit to adopt her child as well as creating a relationship through the open adoption process.
On July 1st, we were driving to Indianapolis for the 4th of July weekend and had stopped at a little McDonalds Bloomington, IL. As Craig went inside to get us some breakfast, I quietly walked Foxy and tried to coax her to eat. My phone rang and it was our social worker from Lutheran Social Service. I froze but then I remembered they were revamping the adoption program website and maybe I had to send something new or forgot to edit my information as originally asked. No, this was not the case. She stated there was a birth mom that wanted to meet us. I started crying and freaked out, Craig was stilling procuring our McGriddles. When he came out I quickly waved with the hand not attached to the phone and said "I think they may have a baby for us." We both were frozen. The details were still sketchy and baby was not due till Mid-November so we had time. It was determined that the birth mom didn't want to get together immediately, we set a July 27th date for a meeting. After a little shell shock, we thought, well at least we have 1 person who thought we are awesome....little did we know what was in store for us.
On July 14th, I was on my way home from work and my phone rang again....social worker. I immediately thought "oh geez, maybe she wants to cancel since she has had so much time to think or rethink her decision." No...Rachel (social worker says to me) "Well Jilien, when it rains it pours....there is another birth mom that wants to meet you." This time, no tears were shed, I think the first time is always the shock and the second time was like "Well, ok, what is the scoop with this one." Rachel told us the scoop on Jenn which consisted of her living 3 hours north of the Twin Cities in a small town and some other details that I will keep confidential for her. She then said "She wants to meet on July 18th...up north...can you go?" I called Craig quickly and he said yes and we set the appointment. We still had an appointment on the 27th and now we felt like we didn't have all of our eggs in one basket and this might be a way for us to learn how this process went. We were going into both situations cautiously optimistic about this to protect and guard our hearts and minds.
July 18th came up quickly and we made the 3 hour drive up north to her tiny town. We met in a hospital conference room with her, her best friend, and her social worker from our same agency. We were extremely nervous but once I walked into the room I felt a calm about it. She was bubbly and funny, and much like me, she cussed like a sailor while telling comical stories. We felt an immediate connection. Our conversation lasted 3 hours and ranged from serious topics like our infertility struggle and her troubled childhood and funny subjects like gangsta rap music and Saturday Night Live sketches. At the end of the meeting, the social worker told us we could exchange contact information if we chose to keep in touch while she was in her decision making process and we both jumped at the chance. We both quickly wrote our email and cell phones and gave each other a hug and wished her well on her journey and decision making process.
We pulled out of the drive way to head back for the 3 hour drive home. We felt that it was a good meeting but had discussed early in our meeting with her that she may have other families she may want to meet to guage the best decision for her and her baby. My phone rang...I froze, it was her number. I answered quickly and was quickly pointing Craig to pull over. I just had a feeling about what was going to be said next...Jenn quickly said that she didn't want to meet with anyone else and she could not imagine her baby being placed with another family. She was excited and we both began to sob. I had waited so long for this to happen and now we were sitting on the shoulder of a road crying speaking on the phone to someone who is about to change our lives. It is really an indescribeable moment. After a few moments of chatting about her saving some of the ultrasounds for us and what our next meeting will be. We dried our tears and headed back down the interstate.
We called our parents, my social worker, her social worker, friends and just it didn't seem like this could be happening. Only 10 weeks in the book? Our very first match meeting and 5 minutes after departure? And on top of that, Jenn is truly miracle and she is sweet, funny, and very sensitive to our needs and has a non-messy situation which will help us in this process.
With all of this being said, we are now expecting a baby BOY sometime around November 3rd. I will be blogging more office during this process. Our next meeting will be August 12th when we will meet up north again to sign some paperwork as well as get to go to the 3-D ultrasound with her to meet our son!
Thank you to everyone that prayed for us during our struggle as well as supportive us when we were sad, happy, or crazy with anticipation. We love all of you so much!
Stay tuned because Team Harvey is about to be a party of 4 (including Foxy) in November!
Till next time...
