I know it has been some time since I have added anything to my blog. The past 7 weeks has been a complete whirlwind from personal issues (Grandpa in hospital and many subsequent visits) to work, adoption training, and of course..our cruise.
In a recap of what has been going on in the world of Team Harvey and a potential new member of our team:
We have completed 10 hours of online training that is required through our adoption agency. The training covers everything from Multiracial families post adoption to how to talk to your child about their adoption story at all levels of their life, to my personal favorite...dealing with people that say insensitive things either about you, about your child or about the way that you came to be placed with this new addition to your life.
I think the latter does require some thought. How would those people that have a biological child feel if a complete stranger came up to you at the store and asked how much you paid for your car. It would be the same as asking an adoptive parent "How much did your kid cost?", other items on the DO NOT ASK list are:
1. Didn't you want to have your own? Umm..of course we did, for some of this, it is not as easy and is a very insensitve comment from both strangers and family members.
2. If you have a multiracial child..."Where did your kid come from" or other questions regarding their race or ethnicity. Do we ask you "Why is your hair a certain color or if your child has different parents?"
3. Do you know who the mom is..birth family is etc..
This list goes on and on.
As someone sitting on this side of the fence speaking to some people who understand our journey and others are just curious, I just caution you to be very careful about your choice of words. There are some things that people feel is their right to ask and I will tell you right now...they are NOT your right to ask. If we want to tell you something personal, we will, if not, do not intrude. It is rude and dissrespectful to us, our child, and the family and situation we have chose to create.
Immediately after vacation, we had our 1 full day training required in the classroom. There were 15 other couples that all were in the same stage in their process of adoption. The training was great and taught us everything from how to still manage our grief and loss of infertility as well as more in depth training on multicultural families and what that means in society. It was interesting to us the demographic of people that attended, most were 40+ so we were in the minority, as well as most were from rural MN.
|Our training was February 17th and we got an email on the 18th that a social worker had been assigned to us and they would be in contact in the next two weeks. We got a call on the 18th from our social worker to set up our first Home Study appointment. The home study is required for the process and is two appointments (1 in the office and 1 in your home) to discuss personal and in depth items regarding your life (not just parenting questions). Our first home study will be on Wednesday, February 23 and we are very excited and slightly nervous. The second should be sometime in the next two weeks and then we will be approved. THE process has moved quickly and after training we are hopeful the wait won't be too long once we are approved. They of course tell you 12-18 months but the families that were on our panel at training only waited 6 weeks and 6 months respectively which really isn't that long.
Once the training was over and we had our home study scheduled, it was amazing the since of hope that I now begin to feel, that this thing is really happening and we could be parents sometime this year. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. What is interesting, I found myself on Sunday at Target finally walking the aisles of the sections I have avoided during this journey....the baby section. I was looking for items we may want to purchase once we go in the "book" on the off chance we ge one of those late in the night calls. It is amazing how one step in the journey changes your mind from avoidance to acceptance and hope..
That is it for now..I am sure there will be more after the home study tomorrow!
Peace and Love!
